Found these on http://www.stanford.edu/~dua/files/quotes.html
Too good.. Here are some of my personal favorites

Human beings were created by water to transport it uphill

Your lucky number is 3552664958674928. Watch for it everywhere.

The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I will walk carefully -- Russian Proverb

Preudhomme's Law of Window Cleaning: It's on the other side.

There once was an old man from Esser,
Who's knowledge grew lesser and lesser.
It at last grew so small,
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a College Professor.

I can't understand it. I can't even understand the people who can understand it -- Queen Juliana of the Netherlands.

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped